Sunrise

I’ve never been a spontaneous person, organisation and planning have always been part of my skillset. When I had the twins, these skills became a form of survival. They have never attended full time childcare and both of us have our own businesses, so our lives are ruled by calendars and schedules. From the very basics like feeding and napping, to outings and trips, almost everything that has happened the last 4 years has been meticulously planned.

Whenever you want to do something with kids you need to think ahead: what time do we need to be there, how long will it take to get there, what time do we need to leave the house, what do we need to bring, how long can we stay before we have to get back for bedtime, do we need to bring food for them, will there be a place to nap or will we do a car nap, how early do we need to start getting ready so we both have proper time to do it, and so on. Doing something without the kids takes just as much planning: who is going to mind them, what if that person isn’t available or becomes unavailable last minute, will they settle for them or do we need to come back for bedtime, do we need to write down their routine, will we bring the kids to them or will they come to ours, what if the kids get sick last minute (which they will), what do we need to pack for them, etc. It is endless – you’re tired before you even leave the house.

As things have (just slightly) slowed down in terms of their routine and there is now a good bit of flexibility around sleep times and all of that, I find myself realising that I still feel the need to plan and organise everything that’s going to happen, as if I’m running on autopilot. Now, organisation is always going to be key when it comes to kids (at least for us), and our own life will work around their schedule for many years. However, as we have just earned the 4-year-old badge, we’re not as tied down to strict times and routines as we were before, yet, I find it difficult to "go with the flow".

We live a few minutes drive from the beach, and I spent all summer wanting to go to see the sunrise there. I love watching the sunset and sunrise at the beach and I’ve done this on holidays with them, so I really wanted to do it at home. I tried to plan for it but it was no use: “we can’t go Monday because I need to be in work early, can’t do Tuesday because they wake up later as they have no nap the day before, they have Summer Camp on Wednesday morning so can’t do that either, Thursday is no good because papa is away for work, Friday’s forecast is cloudy so we won’t be able to see it properly…”

And just like that the new school term started the last week of August.

It has been quite the chaotic start on all fronts, too. Every week has brought a new challenge, plus the carry-on challenges from the week before. Last week felt particularly long and, as we were driving to school/work quite early on Thursday morning I could see the sun, so big and so beautifully bright through the back window of the car as it had just rose from the beach near our village. I wanted to pull in and see it for a minute but between the morning rush, the roadworks and them fighting in the back of the car, I couldn’t.

The next morning I woke up at 5am and couldn’t go back to sleep. I eventually got up and went downstairs, looked through the window - clear skies. At 6.35am I heard the first “mama!” of the day. This is it. We got them into the car in pyjamas and the 4 of us drove to the beach, listening to Frozen songs.