When I found out we were going to have twins I wanted to learn about different aspects of it, but their social development being different from other children never actually crossed my mind back then.
My twins were born during COVID, which meant we didn’t see family or friends often. They shared a cot for the first 6 months and they were never separated or spent any time apart. Everything they experienced, they did next to each other: feeding, playing, having a bath, going for a walk… everything. Due to the restrictions back then, I couldn’t attend any baby classes, either, and we were in each other’s company for the most part of their first year of life.
Even after those COVID restrictions ended, they didn’t go to childcare as we didn’t need them to until they started Preschool, and while I did attend some toddler classes, at that point they would stick to each other when it came to interacting with other children.
At first I didn’t think much of it, but when they started attending Preschool and they would only play with each other or the teachers, it got me thinking that they really just didn't feel the need to socialize. They hadn’t been exposed to many people, and definitely not many children, for the first year and a half, so they got used to being home a lot and they got used to being always together and entertain each other one way or another.
They’re now almost 4 and are such good friends. They have very different personalities, complete opposite, but they understand each other, they know each other’s boundaries, they have their own games… why would they need to look for anything outside of that? It seems completely logical for them not to try.
Towards the end of this first year of Preschool they did start to play with other children and making their own friends in school at times. They also show empathy and can read other children's non verbal cues. But overall, they’re still the most comfortable in their own twin bubble, understandably.
A big part of this I think it is their connection: they barely need to say anything to each other to set up a game or understand what the expectations or rules are. They can laugh out loud at things that are not even noticeable to any of us outsiders. They can communicate without saying a word. Only the other day, he made a noise out of nowhere, sort of like a humming sound, only for 2 seconds while looking at her, and she replied with a full sentence that made complete sense to him. This is one of the things that fascinate me the most about watching their twin relationship.
I’m sure in time this will change as they grow older, they will develop their own interests and they’ll have different preferences, which will lead to have different groups of friends. However I can see the logical reasons why social development can be quite different with twins in the early years.
Why look for a friend when you already have the best one at home?
Add comment
Comments