I really never thought about what it’d be like when my twins would start to team up against me. It didn’t occur to me this would ever happen, at least not this early.
They compete a lot, for sure, and there are times when I’m giving out to one and the other one sees the opportunity to shine like a diamond and pretend they are the perfect angel-child, saying things like “I wasn’t doing that, I was being good!”. But more often than not, it’s the complete opposite.
Most times, whatever mischief they’ve done, they’ve done it together (one always being the brains and the other one following), and they’ll try to get out of it saying my favourite excuse to date: “We didn’t think you were looking”. At least they’re not lying…
But on those occasions when just one is doing something or they get caught before the 2nd one can join in, the innocent twin jumps right in as the best defence lawyer you’ve ever seen. It only takes one “Mama! Poor her!” or “Mama! You’re making him sad!”, mixed with the guilty twin standing next to their legal representative pulling a fake-sad little face, and I’m disarmed. It doesn’t end there, though. When I am speaking to the twin in question, the other one will join in and tell me things like “But you have to ask nicely, mama”, or “He/She didn’t do it on purpose”.
They have each other’s backs, that’s for sure.
They’re strongest when they’re together. We don’t do a lot of one-on-one time with them, which is something we try to work on but, honestly, it’s difficult to schedule in. However, the times that we do get to split and each of us takes one for a couple of hours to give them undivided attention, the whole atmosphere changes. It is just so different – quieter, slower, easier.
I’m not sure if that sounds mean but it just is, easier. We do this to give them full attention, but at the moment I think the ones getting full attention are actually us. I only realised this a couple of weeks ago, we were sitting at the table and I was asking them to eat, but they weren’t looking at me or hearing what I was saying. They were looking at each other, barely saying anything but nodding, gesturing, laughing. So it really hit me then that, when they’re together, at least 80% of their attention, if not more, is on each other. They’re listening, observing and watching the other twin with way more interest and attention than they are anything or anyone else around them. They know what the other twin wants, needs... they just know. There are times when one of them is having a tantrum over apparently nothing and the other one will tell me what they want. I could be sitting with both of them for lunch and they could be having a full-on conversation by simply looking at each other, while I need to repeat the same sentence 5 times before either of them say “What did you say, mama?”. It is an amazing connection.
They’re stronger together, they’re a team, they follow the same mission, which is basically the complete opposite of whatever we, mama and papa, are trying to achieve on a day-to-day basis (i.e. getting ready for school, having a shower, go shopping, get ready for bed, etc.).
Although it works against me some days, this side of their twin bond is something I look forward to watching develop as they grow up. I’ve always been close to my brother and we look after each other, but what I see in my twins is another level, and I feel so lucky that I get to watch it every day.
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